Coming in SMUG issue #2:

An exclusive interview with Nigel Collage-Baggage-Montage, Leader of WISPa

(Winchester Independent Secessionist Party)

SMUG: “Are you not afraid of the effect on the local economy if we secede”?

NC: “Oh don’t fall for the rubbish peddled by those project fear types. They are the same ones who put the willies up Scottish kilts in 2014 when the jocks wanted-out, and who are now saying that ‘Calais will come to Dover’ this year. There is a well bankrolled and coordinated organisation of anti-secessionist movements……… We call them OrgASM”.

SMUG: “But Wintonia will have to import nearly everything, surely”?

NC: “You are forgetting that we will have a near-monopoly on the supply of watercress. Once the rest of the world realises we can hold them to ransom they will soon come crawling back to the negotiating table”.

SMUG: “So you think OrgASM are faking it”?

NC: “Simple irresponsible scaremongering”.