Best recited with a Scottish accent…..not that I’m stereotyping or anything.
Think Rab C Nesbitt…….
It all started in the Willow Tree
With some real ale ‘samples’, all for free
Asked the Madam in the Hyde Tavern
For a pint of Harvey’s, and chaser of Glencadam
Came unstuck in the Mucky Duck
The tab went unpaid, was down on my luck
But in the Albion I won the jackpot
Regulars groaned, but bollocks tae that lot
Pockets re-fuelled, I mooched to the Railway
Kossoff on the jukie for some wicked fret-play
Next it was on to the Fulflood Arms
To leer at that blonde with the alluring charms
Called the barman various names
As he propelled me from the St James
Rolled down the hill towards the Exchange
Witnessed a bit of pool-table rage
Spied some ‘College’ boys in the Wykeham
(Don’tcha sometimes just wanna kick ‘em?)
Eyed the barmaid with the curvy hips
Puffing a Benson outside the Eclipse
That wedding party at the Bishop on the Bridge?
…..I told the bride I’d take her up the ridge
And the Bakers Arms made it a round dozen
As I chucked my cookies over the landlord’s cousin
Copyright Jody Redmires, 2016 http://www.jodyredmires.com