Back Street Crawler

Best recited with a Scottish accent…..not that I’m stereotyping or anything.

Think Rab C Nesbitt…….

It all started in the Willow Tree

With some real ale ‘samples’, all for free


Asked the Madam in the Hyde Tavern

For a pint of Harvey’s, and chaser of Glencadam


Came unstuck in the Mucky Duck

The tab went unpaid, was down on my luck


But in the Albion I won the jackpot

Regulars groaned, but bollocks tae that lot


Pockets re-fuelled, I mooched to the Railway

Kossoff on the jukie for some wicked fret-play


Next it was on to the Fulflood Arms

To leer at that blonde with the alluring charms


Called the barman various names

As he propelled me from the St James


Rolled down the hill towards the Exchange

Witnessed a bit of pool-table rage


Spied some ‘College’ boys in the Wykeham

(Don’tcha sometimes just wanna kick ‘em?)


Eyed the barmaid with the curvy hips

Puffing a Benson outside the Eclipse


That wedding party at the Bishop on the Bridge?

…..I told the bride I’d take her up the ridge


And the Bakers Arms made it a round dozen

As I chucked my cookies over the landlord’s cousin


Copyright Jody Redmires, 2016