Edward the Reader

When his web browsing history

Was no longer a mystery

Doctor Ed Du-Freyn

Could hardly complain


For a routine IT check

Had revealed a “Best

Escorts in the North” refrain

And an unfamiliar domain


The subsequent inquiry

Revealed a virtual library

Of websites of indulgence

Whilst shopping for ‘romance’


A leak to the press

Caused untold distress

For Pro Vice-Chancellors

And local councillors


A senior line manager

An H.R. advisor

An Independent Panel

And a Union ‘Regional’


The University of Respectability

Considered its responsibility

And considered dismissal

To be the best rebuttal


Signing-on at Dole House

Queueing behind pan-scouse

Then the lanky security guard

Spoke to him so hard


Said his job-seeking ‘coach’

As she filled-in her notes:

“Before we process your claim

What skills do you proclaim?”


Said Ed:  “I communicate well”

So they found him hard-sell

“Large Pizza, £6.98!”

(His sandwich-board on Fargate)


Now he’s the talk of the town

In the land of the gown

Edward the Reader?

…..……dirty little bleeder


Copyright Jody Redmires, 2014