Lucas and the girls

[Image: The Ball, Crookes, Sheffield. Plucked from the internet – Tripadvisor, probably]

Lucas and the girls, 1989


Myself and a school-friend

Looked good in our short-hems,

And we noticed that Lucas

Appeared most-aware


But the trouble with Lucas

Apart from his mucous

Was the ridiculous crew-cut

On his barnet-fair


He hardly seduced us

Did snotty-nosed Lucas

But we never refused him

When he paid for his share.



Lucas and the girls 2014


We wave over to Lucas

Whenever he sees us

But his preference for Deuchars

Has taken its toll


He now loiters round Crookes

Browsing charity-shop books

And, wanton-in looks,

He drinks in The Ball


Last time we saw Lucas

We offered him threes-ups

But his manhood took refuge

On the pub-lavvy wall.

                                                                         Copyright Jody Redmires, 2014