Jody Redmires – the Curriculum Vitae

I’m no Magnus Carlsen
Not even Magnus Magnussen
But I once played B-team badminton
Whilst under the influence of cider

And I’m no Russell Group authoress
An academic lowbrow, I confess
A two-star article was the best
I could muster on the down of an eider

It’s clear that I’m no Bear Grylls
My phobias, the stuff of others thrills
Besides, I always lacked the skills
To camp sideways on the face of the Eiger

I never hobbied in astronomy
Nor read the book of Deuteronomy
And public schoolboy bonhomie
Was never something to strive for

Never aspired to Club Bullingdon
Was far more interested in pulling them
At some sleazy nightclub in Gillingham
And that’s where I first spied her

(as with all CV’s, it is to be continued…….)

Copyright, Jody Redmires, 2015