Was in Spain, foolishly and mistakenly thinking I could do a Betjeman………….





You can buy a Daily Mail here, in Torrevieja

An Express or a Sun, maybe even a Star

And read it al-fresco in perfect weather

Pass judgement on Cameron, from-afar


No nightclubs here, in Torrevieja

The youth have been targeted by other towns

Even less chance of finding a strip-bar

But a bridge club at every second-block-down.


No contemporary music in Torrevieja

Just Frank Ifield and the Beatles to rock your world

Bit of Tchaikovsky, maybe even Franz Lehar

And a few cheesy tribute bands, occasionally-unfurled


Walk the dog in your slippers in Torrevieja

No-one bats an eyelid, they all do the same

If it’s done quietly, they will tolerate your behaviour

Live and let live is the name of the game


A skewed demographic here in Torrevieja

Having eschewed life in freezing cold blighty

The EU public health service will act as your saviour

But even that won’t stop them from perspiring nightly


Eighteen degrees here in Torrevieja.

And Christmas only twelve hours away!

Few children here though, to unwrap such favours

Perhaps a few more on ‘Three Kings’ day.


Copyright Jody Redmires, 2014